tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4741737289194773682024-03-05T07:08:19.467-08:00Bad Ideas: Liam and Me's Advice ColumnThe band Liam and Me hooks you up with their infinite wisdom. Send us your problems and questions and we'll do our best to answer them. Completely anonymous!
Write to liamandmeadvice@gmail.com
Keep it concise and interesting. We reserve the right to edit your stuff. Visit us at myspace.com/liamandmeLiam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-89276184107467947912009-02-13T14:35:00.000-08:002009-02-13T14:36:29.484-08:00Misguided Marriage Craze<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">My 20 year old sister just got engaged this month to a boy she's been dating less than six months. I've been dating my boyfriend for about the same amount of time. My boyfriend is now getting cagey thinking I want to already be engaged as well. Also, my family is now getting on my back about how my sister is engaged and I'm not. How do I get everyone to chill the fuck out?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Not Engaged in New Hampshire</span><br /><br /><br />Dear Not Engaged –<br /><br />Weddings make people insane. Everyone gets so hung up on the excitement and planning that they forget that it’s really just one stupid party, and then you have to deal with being married to that person the rest of your life.<br /><br />It’s totally irresponsible for two 20 year olds to get engaged after dating only 6 months. You can’t possibly get to know someone well enough to marry them in that amount of time, and 20 year olds hardly know themselves well enough to understand who they’ll be compatible with for decades of matrimony.<br /><br />You’re in the right here. You seem like a smart and reasonable person, and your family needs to chill the fuck out. First, explain your feelings to your boyfriend. Assure him that while you’re happy with your relationship, there is no fucking way you’re ready to get married anytime soon. Second, tell your family that while you’re happy for your impulsive little sis, you’ll make your life decisions on your own schedule and their weird pressure makes you feel uncomfortable. This most likely will not stop them, but at least you’ve put it out there.<br /><br />As a last resort, make them watch those moronic wedding planning reality shows. If they can see past the cake design and into the warped priorities of maniacal brides-to-be, maybe they’ll get the message.<br /><br />Felicitaciones!<br />Liam and MeLiam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-80402875733766298402009-02-13T14:33:00.000-08:002009-02-13T14:35:28.226-08:00Where the handsome mature boys at?<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I'm a typical girl who goes boy crazy every once in a while, but it's really hard to find a great guy in my town. Honestly I live in a town with mostly ugly, immature boys. I'm not saying that looks are all that matter but seriously, how can this place be so unfortunate? Yeah, personality goes a long way, but just about every guy I've met is really immature. I've heard that girls mature faster than boys but I really didn't think that it would take them so long to grow up. I don't want to wait my whole life to find someone with brains and a cute face. What can a girl do?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Looking for that someone in this cruddy town</span><br /><br /><br />Dear Looking –<br /><br />Have you considered relocating to a bigger city? In our travels around the world, we’ve definitely seen the socioeconomic difference between large and small towns. Not to knock small town living, but bigger cities tend to attract crowds of young, ambitious, organized, and sexy people, all of them trying to make it big in this crazy world. If you’re feeling stifled in your hometown, maybe its time to make your move.<br /><br />Pack your bags, buy some hot shoes, and find an excuse to go. I recommend NYC, LA, ATL, San Fran, Philly, Austin, DC. All packed with hustlers with some style.<br /><br />Keep us posted!<br />Liam and MeLiam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-57980176525018467552009-02-13T14:32:00.000-08:002009-02-13T14:33:19.461-08:00To Strip or Not To Strip<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam - </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I moved to a new city about 5 months ago and still haven’t found a job. Although my father has been generous with financial assistance, I have recently been cut off. I have been trying very hard to find a job, it just seems that this city wasn’t meant for newcomers. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I have a friend who's a stripper, and I could easily get that job. The problem is that I have too much respect for myself to flaunt my naked body in front of strangers or worse, my guy friends. Word would get around quickly, not to mention my current boyfriend would surely find out. I'm not sure how he'd react to such a career seeing as he’s a successful photographer.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I'm not scared to shake what my momma gave me, and I’ve been told that I look awesome naked! My bills are starting to pile up and I can’t continue living off the generosity of my friends. Do I make dat money by lowering my morals and showing some (or a lot) of skin, or continue to be that moocher friend?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sincerely,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Bills or booty</span><br /><br />Dear Bills –<br /><br />God I loved this message. It’s a classic, but that doesn’t make it any less tough. A few things to consider:<br /><br />- Strippers can make bank, but it carries a lot of baggage forever<br />- You will not be able to keep it a secret from your friends.<br />- The economy is balls, but there are jobs available.<br />- Careerbuilder and craigslist are not the way to find work – networking is key<br /><br />From your description, it seems like you are flattered by the offer but uncomfortable with the reality. I say give yourself some more time to find a more legit job. Ask everyone you know about available opportunities. Show up to places you like in person and ask around. Your best bet is to find opportunities through the same channels you found your stripper offer. I’m confident you can do it, and if things get really tough you can give “exotic dancing” a go!<br /><br />Sidenote: dating a stripper is a rollercoaster ride. On one hand, you’re very very proud that every dude in the room is ogling the lady that YOU get to take home at the end of the day. On the other hand, jealously and paranoia will drive you insane.<br /><br />Send us some hot pics?<br />Liam and MeLiam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-68676165153958826992009-02-13T14:30:00.000-08:002009-02-13T14:32:25.338-08:00Nerds Love Confident Women<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Dr. Liam and Me,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Okay, so, there is this boy. He is top of the class, a genius. He's intriguing, he fascinates me, but to the point where I cannot form coherent sentences. It's more than the generic butterflies—it’s straight up paralysis. I stutter, I mumble, I look everywhere but at him. How do I over come this?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">A lot of the time I feel I'm just not good enough for him, but that can't be entirely right. We get along, we have things in common, he seems interested enough, and he puts up with my frantic rambling. But I really don't like how nervous I get around him. Is there some secret formula to cure these extreme nerves? Am I just a silly girl with a silly crush? Help?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Much love,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dazed and Confused</span><br /><br />Dear Dazed –<br /><br />Thank you for the honorary doctorate! We can’t remember completing med school or a Ph.D program.<br /><br />You’re lacking confidence in a big way. There is no secret formula or silver bullet, but confidence is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself this guy is a god and you are a slug, you will be nervous and awkward. If you tell yourself you’re a hot piece and this dude would be lucky to have you, you will project that vibe instead.<br /><br />It really comes down to practice and comfort in your own skin. People usually get better at this with time. Here’s one little trick though: get dressed up in your favorite outfit, put on some subtle hot eye makeup and a pair of cool heels. Nothing too intense! You don’t want to look like a prom date or hooker. But you’re a pretty girl, and if you work it just a little bit people will take notice and you’ll get that little boost of confidence. Even top of the class braniacs are slayed by a little production value. Maybe when confronted with your new secure attitude, he’ll start to get butterflies of his own…ow!<br /><br />Let us know how things pan out!<br />LiamLiam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-8473127595237334672009-02-13T14:29:00.000-08:002009-02-13T14:30:41.211-08:00NOT a good boyfriend candidate<span style="font-style: italic;">Dearest Liam,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I've been "seeing" this boy (and yes, I say boy and you will soon see why) for about 4-5 months. We have a lot of fun. I'm not a commitment fan and neither is he, and there are certain flaws I choose to ignore. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">He's a bit younger than me, he works more sporadically than a Hilton sister, he's stoned about 85% of the time, he cancels plans with me on a regular basis, and he's been with more girls than I care to mention. It’s casual, so no worries.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The problem is that now I think he's starting to actually care for me a little more than you would a normal friend with benefits. What's even more terrifying is I may like him too, although I'm not quite quick to admit it. Do you think I can trust such a person to not completely burn me? Is it even worth it to try and build a relationship with someone who is on such a radically different path?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Help!</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">(Girl)friend with benefits?</span><br /><br /><br />Dear Girlfriend –<br /><br />It sounds very nice that your casual sexual relationship is turning into something meaningful. And yes, perhaps your increasing mutual affection will help reign in some of his personality defects.<br /><br />But in all honesty he sounds like a horrible boyfriend candidate, and he will be as lazy in your relationship as he is in his life. Its already pretty clear he doesn’t really care. Regularly cancelled plans, constantly stoned, and rampant promiscuity. Sounds like a keeper!<br /><br />Seriously though, don’t get sucked into his lackadaisical charm. He’s a young, flaky, horny pot head. He will only disappoint you. There is a tiny chance I’m wrong, but you know in your heart that I’m not.<br /><br />Suerte,<br />LiamLiam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-42216825122062845092008-12-30T23:08:00.000-08:002008-12-30T23:15:01.024-08:00Divorcée who made my day<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I recently got divorced after being married for almost nine years. I've been dating up a storm in the past few months, and having a great time. However the average age of the guys I'm going out with is about 27, and I will be 39 in a month (I'm Asian, you know my peoples don't age). I never lie about my age, and no one seems to have a problem with it as I'm not looking for anything serious just yet. Eventually I'll want to see someone for more than a few weeks, maybe even (ack) have a boyfriend of some kind again. </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />My question is this, why am I not attracted to anyone my age? Or even close? I have tried to go out with a few men in their mid 30s but they bore the hell out of me. The young men like me now, but will they want to date me when I'm not such a fun carnival ride? Am I doomed to the Cougar den with my fading looks and long lost charm, making desperate passes at immigrant busboys and baristas on Friday nights?</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />Sincerely,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Immature or Young at Heart?</span><br /><br /><br />Dear Immature or Young at Heart –<br /><br />The dissolution of a relationship that lengthy and serious delivers a massive shock to your world. That kind of breakup is a once in a lifetime experience, and its no surprise you’re feeling the need to reboot and go ape shit. I say take advantage of your ageless Asian hotness and get as much late 20s tail as you can manage, for now. I’m assuming you don’t have any children yet. It would be very irresponsible to be getting busy with a different Ashton or Dylan every night as your four-year-old’s mind is destroyed by Mommy’s orgasm yelps.<br /><br />But yes, this too will get old. 27 year olds are increasingly marriage minded, but they won’t seriously consider a woman 10 years older. And you are right, it can’t last forever. You won’t get as many young takers as you hit 45, 50, 60…<br /><br />It sounds like your heart and mind are in the right place, Baby Cougar. This is your wild European backpacking f**kfest before you come home and take over the family business. The revolving door of young studs will lose its luster, and suddenly a more grounded mid-30s gentleman will seem more appealing.<br /><br />But before that happens, give us a call will ya luv?<br /><br />We wish you the best in 2009.<br /><br />Yours,<br />Liam<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMXD2QemSYt2f7NrRwcy5K75B-rKgxUHv9mKAuXTy6p7d501fTTMlqAe5fP1MnFKWYCNaDS9MPGN2virPhilFlLjRa0mCZP8K36nTHuNCMxNGAefcab39J21pNFtw2M1vlm3dVTXngUdU/s1600-h/Lucy_Liu.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 374px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMXD2QemSYt2f7NrRwcy5K75B-rKgxUHv9mKAuXTy6p7d501fTTMlqAe5fP1MnFKWYCNaDS9MPGN2virPhilFlLjRa0mCZP8K36nTHuNCMxNGAefcab39J21pNFtw2M1vlm3dVTXngUdU/s400/Lucy_Liu.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5285848959595229762" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">40, Asian, still fine as hell.<br /></span></div>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-17336679733178476352008-12-30T22:59:00.000-08:002008-12-30T23:06:33.673-08:00Which lame guy should I pick?<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam -</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I’m dealing with some last semester before college boy tensions, and I want to know which platonic friend I should upgrade to </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The first friend (We'll call him Joe) has a girlfriend but they've been on the verge of a break up for half the year. I've always kind of liked him and I think there's a chance that he at least kind of likes me. We're probably going to the same college next fall so that's a huge plus and like I said, I've pretty much always had a thing for him...</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">But then there's my other friend (He'll be Bob) who just recently told my best friend that he might like me. We've been pretty tight lately but I had no idea that he was interested. I've never liked him like that, but I don't want to miss out on something that has the potential to be great. Also I kind of think he just really wants a girlfriend and I'm the only one in our group of friends who isn't dating anyone.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Should I hold out for 'Joe' even though he's technically taken right now and I'm not even sure he's interested, or risk my friendship with 'Bob'? I live in a small town so if things go South with either of my friends its gonna be one hell of a long semester....</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Thanks</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“Friends” ‘til the End</span><br /><br /><br />Dear Friends ‘til the End:<br /><br />How about C, none of the above? Both Joe and Bob sound like horrible options. Joe has a girlfriend who he refuses to break up with and likely has no interest in dating you. Bob has never impressed you, and is a guy who just wants to get his rocks off before he goes off to college.<br /><br />Why not enjoy the time you have left with your friends without forcing yourself into a ridiculous relationship with one of them? You have 6 months until graduation. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone totally new and totally better, and have a magical summer fling before the frat guys get their turn.<br /><br />Excelsior!<br /><br />Liam<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QQYvpOPiYM0&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/QQYvpOPiYM0&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size:85%;">Friends forever!</span></div>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-37060181216833659622008-10-30T15:23:00.000-07:002008-10-30T15:30:25.920-07:00From A Distance I'm Into You<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam and Me,</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I tend to always fall for the type of guys whom I never talk to or see. I am a pretty shy person, so whenever I see them walk by in the hallway, I totally avoid any sort of eye contact and stay completely aloof, pretending I don't notice them at all. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">What should I do? How can I break out of my comfort zone and get rid of this horrible habit?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sincerely,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Trapped in a Bubble</span><br /><br />Dear Trapped:<br /><br />How do you know you like these guys if you never talk to them? Its one thing to think they’re hot, and another to actually like them as people. You’ll never know unless you just man up and do it.<br /><br />You will have many regrets throughout your life if you don’t give things like this a shot. It will be weird and embarrassing at first, but it will open up tremendous opportunities. Psych yourself out and make the first move!<br /><br />PLEASE watch this video for inspiration.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zQ00laVt62c&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zQ00laVt62c&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Love,<br />LiamLiam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-725705897054262522008-10-30T13:47:00.000-07:002008-10-30T13:52:05.214-07:00These Boots Were Made For Walking All Over You<p><i>Dear Liam and Me,<br /><br />I've been described as a fairly big-hearted person. That being said, I'm also a pushover. I let my best friend move down to live with me after she got kicked out of college. I did this with the stipulation she get a job and pay rent and such.<br /><br />I got her her first job, and things were okay for the first month. Then she quit her job, and I was expected to pay every bill AND buy her food. I was working 40 hour weeks and going to school while she sat at the apartment playing on myspace. I was also taking her to shows, buying her CDs, and getting her tattoos. I bought her cigarettes even though my mother died from smoking, and steak at restaurants even though I don’t eat meat.<br /><br />Every time I tried to kick her out, she'd guilt me into letting her stay. This past week, with the help of my family, I finally managed to get her out of the country, away from me.<br /><br />All of our mutual friends have decided to be mad at me because she's gone. They never had to take care of her and none of them offered her a place to stay when they knew she was leaving, but they still find it really easy to blame me for her not being around anymore.<br /><br />Should I try to make them understand the situation or should I just ditch them for better friends?<br /><br />Troubled in Texas</i></p> <p><br /></p> <p class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkPPMAj9kqasiZNG_qcBhsE77LTcHfv0E8YanfvCluVkWiCs4-tZRAZVHjrKR1QYjjsQjF5S5ECK2SutKQs36GeAHjTY9DeXh4zsDmLwfIF3d7xjT6ZCASjrEiVTk84DgHyP-joo_6PMY/s1600-h/annoying_girl_temp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPH0N7rqug04X-e2wc7nNYyDlfmM4IIesmVolxkdQy2PRYQ1kukaffom2oPKNYOdPHG_uWoSZyg_VSh0i3PR5t_je8InKMVWxBZiuVEtqVS3jjbqg4NtLg80kK3SdTrC6ZVchYkG_asqw/s200-r/annoying_girl_temp.jpg" border="0" /></a></p> <div style="text-align: center;"><p><span style="font-size:85%;">Uhhh, can you like buy me cigarettes bitch?</span></p></div> <p><br /></p> <p> Dear Troubled –</p> <p>OH MY F*CKING GOD. Calling yourself a pushover is the understatement of the century. Its cool to ask for help, but no friend should ever impose on you to the extent that this girl did. And no friend should let herself be walked over to that insane degree. You missed out on a million chances to say “No [way in hell, biatch]!” Buying her smokes, steak, and tattoos? While paying every single bill and letting her crash? Wow.</p> <p>I’m glad you finally got her out of your apartment, and its probably better that she is out of the country.</p> <p>As for your “mutual friends”, it’s easy to complain when you don’t have to bear the burden. I’m inclined to say find some better friends. But if you want to keep them around, point out their hypocrisy. Try telling them you’d be happy to call her up and tell her she’s welcome to come back move in at THEIR houses.</p>“No.”<br />“No way in hell.”<br />“You have got to be kidding me.”<br />“How about you pick up this steak dinner and I’ll get the next?”<br />“Get out of my apartment or I will throw your sh*t in the street.”<br /><br />With resolve,<br />LiamLiam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-1511595647410918252008-10-01T17:44:00.000-07:002008-10-01T19:02:51.080-07:00Don't Date Band Dudes!<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam -</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I seriously always seem to fall in love with musicians who don't have the time for a girlfriend. Or so they tell me. Maybe I'm naive enough to believe it, or maybe they're really busy all the time, but I can never seem to get one that's actually interested enough to make it work. Even if I meet them at a library or a bookstore, they turn out to be a "super busy drummer/guitarist/lead singer" and it drives me batty. Is there any way to either repel musicians or to make it work? I mean, has it worked in your experience? I'm pretty damn attractive, and pretty smart, so I don't get it. </span> <span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />-Bummed out in California</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span><br />Dear Bummed:<br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span>This one is a classic, and the answer is always the same. Band boys are pretty despicable with women. They join bands because they love music almost as much as they love getting attention, and they validate their insecurities by stringing along as many girls as possible. Unless Dude is a serious touring musician, chances are he's not too busy for a relationship. He's having a good time being a man slut, and happy with the status quo. I understand why girls are into band dudes, but those same qualities make them shitty boyfriends. There are exceptions to every rule (ahem), but this is usually the case.<br /><br />Your best bet is to turn the tables and blow him off. Dress cute and flirt casually, and when Dude asks you to come back to his place, tell him he seems nice but isn't really your type. This will blow his mind, and his ego will compel him to try and bone you. I'm getting turned on just thinking about being rejected.</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span> </span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span> Straight-up <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Method">Mystery Method!</a><br /><br />Attractive and smart, you say? Watcha doing this weekend?<br /><br />Suerte,<br />Liam</span></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.freewebs.com/pugzrock/Martin%20Johnson%20blg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.freewebs.com/pugzrock/Martin%20Johnson%20blg.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;font-size:85%;" >"Sorry girl, I've been real busy."</span><br /></div><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></span></span></div>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-46768955454018070342008-02-27T16:54:00.000-08:002008-10-01T19:54:42.449-07:00NYC vs LA<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam and Me –</span><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />New York or LA?</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><br />Bi-coastal Biatch</span></span><br /><p style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br />Dear Bi-coastal:<br /><br />NYC is my favorite. But they both rock in their own special ways. I made this handy table to help you make a decision.</span></p> <span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >Kisses,<br />Liam<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://media.tumblr.com/wxyiAKKT460w31qtGyiAAEaB_500.png"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px;" src="http://media.tumblr.com/wxyiAKKT460w31qtGyiAAEaB_500.png" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;">I made this rad table in Microsoft Word.</span><br /></div><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br /><br /></span>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-80111243108153113652008-02-15T16:52:00.000-08:002008-10-01T16:56:43.653-07:00Dream Jobs<blockquote style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam and Me – </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I have this wonderful job that I enjoy and am very good at. It has fantastic potential and can lead to a great many things, and I get to help people who truly need it on a daily basis. My trouble is recently another opportunity has presented itself that, for lack of a better term, happens to be my “dream job.” So, do I stay in the job I know I enjoy, or risk everything for something that may fail miserably? You see, if I go for broke and choose the latter, what happens if it’s a bust? Then what?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sincerely,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Opportunity Knocked</span><br /></span></blockquote> <span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br />Dear Knocked –<br /><br />It sounds like you have a rare and fantastic opportunity to live your dream. For the love of god, don’t screw it up! If your current job really loves you, they will understand your need to go out and actualize. And as long as your dream job isn’t something like crack whore or African warlord, they will probably be proud of you.<br /><br />Go go do it. Stay on good terms with your old work people so that you can go crawling back if things don’t go as planned.<br /><br />Cheers!<br />Liam<br /></span>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-84745510532546304032008-01-30T16:50:00.000-08:002008-10-01T16:56:56.852-07:00How to f*ck your shy friends<blockquote style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Jackie Treehorn and Co. - </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I have liked this boy for a very long time. We talk occasionally but not that much. I try very hard to make casual conversation, and to get him to notice me but it doesn’t seem to do much. I can’t say I think he’s completely uninterested, because I’ll look up in class every now and then and he’ll be looking at me. But I can’t ever get him to have a long conversation with me. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Maybe he’s just shy? Or maybe I am wrong and he is completely uninterested? What do you think?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Much love,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Lonely Lucy</span><br /></span></blockquote> <span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br />Dearest Lonely –<br /><br />You probably won’t be lonely much longer. From your description, it sounds like the gentleman in question is a shy, sweet dude who probably has a crush on you and is too verklempt to do anything about it. The staring at class is a dead giveaway, unless you have something horrifying in your teeth.<br /><br />You’re a woman of the 21st century, so take charge and make the first move. Invite him to hang outside of school. If he’s shy, invite him and a buddy to go somewhere with a larger group first. You’ll be getting your extra curricular activities on in no time.<br /><br />Sloppy Kisses,<br />Liam</span>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-76784327365628870182008-01-25T16:47:00.000-08:002008-10-01T16:49:16.604-07:00Writer's Bloc<h2 style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><a href="http://liamandmeadvice.tumblr.com/post/25080705/writers-bloc"><br /></a></span></h2> <span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" > </span><blockquote style="font-family: arial; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Dear Liam –</span></blockquote> <blockquote style="font-family: arial; font-style: italic;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I’m an amazing writer, right? And I have all these ideas.<br />But when I try to type them out, my mind goes blank.<br /><br />I don’t know if you guys write stories, but I know you write songs and lyrics. Do you ever get writer’s block? If so, how do you deal with it?<br /><br />Luhvv,<br />Mae</span></blockquote> <blockquote style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></blockquote><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" >Dear Mae:<br /><br />Writer’s block is the balls, and every artist suffers from it. You have to figure out what inspires you and makes you feel creative, then try and get yourself into that mindset.<br /><br />Two things help me a lot:<br /><br />1. Jot down every little idea you have. Even if its just one little part, one cool fragment, one character’s revelation, little snippets can be synthesized into a great story and prove to be a breakthrough.<br /><br />2. If you write, read lots of books. If you make music, listen to tons of music. Movies, painting, photography, whatever. Consume lots of the art you aspire to make and mine it for ideas.<br /><br />Good things will come to you. Promise. Absinthe and mushrooms have also helped many great creative minds.<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Liam<br /></span><a href="http://liamandmeadvice.tumblr.com/post/25080705/writers-bloc" class="permalink"></a> </span>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-31601478327739340552008-01-21T16:46:00.000-08:002008-10-01T20:12:09.442-07:00Hetero-flexible<span style="font-style: italic;">Dear Liam and Me:</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The guy I like is gay. Is there any hope, or should I just give up?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sincerely,</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">“Bearded” Lady</span><br /><br /><br />Dear Bearded:<br /><br />Save up a bunch of money and send him to one of <a href="http://www.exodus-international.org/">these fine “camps”. </a><br /><br />Seriously, you should just give up. But cherish your gay friend for what he is. He’ll flatter you, offer valuable wardrobe tips, and provide you with many things a straight boy can’t. Except for hot hetero action.<br /><br />Liam<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"></span>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-14612124057485304112008-01-20T16:42:00.000-08:002008-10-01T16:45:12.597-07:00Bad Friends<span style="font-family: arial; font-style: italic;"></span><br /><blockquote style="font-style: italic; font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" ><span style="font-size:100%;">Dear Liam and Me -<br /><br />I have a friend who I’ve hung out with a lot. She always acts superior, calls me a “dumbass”, and makes me feel really stupid. It’s ok to joke around sometimes, but she takes it to the extreme.<br /><br />Today when I wasn’t in the mood to talk, she told me I “have an attitude problem and really need to change it”. She left for class without me and began telling my friends about my apparent attitude problem.<br /><br />I don’t know if we can still be friends. To tell the truth, she’s not a good friend to begin with. She only thinks about herself, thinks she’s better than anyone, and will never be there for anything.<br /><br />What should I do? Should I talk it out or keep it in?<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Deprecated Self</span></blockquote> <blockquote style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;" ><span style="font-size:100%;"> </span></blockquote> <span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" >Dear Deprecated:<br /><br />Any friend who makes you feel that miserable probably isn’t worth having. Still, there’s the off chance that she’s so insensitive that she doesn’t realize what she’s doing. And if you’ve kept her around this long, there must be something about her you like.<br /><br />Communication is always the answer. Sit her down and REALLY make her understand how crappy she makes you feel, citing as many examples as you possibly can. Be firm but polite. Who knows, maybe she’ll apologize and change her ways. Otherwise be prepared to find a new BFF who doesn’t make you feel worthless.<br /><br />Liam<br /></span>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-13084393248597280912008-01-14T16:13:00.000-08:002008-10-01T16:14:20.620-07:00Sucking in Public<blockquote style="font-family: arial;"><p><span style="font-size:100%;"><i><b>Dear Liam - </b><br /><br />I have a small part in my upcoming theater class play. Onstage I tend to just freeze up, not because I’m nervous, but because I just kind of feel like I’m not being funny. Everyone tells me to just go with what I’m doing. So what are things you guys do to get over nerves? Do you even get nervous? How do you just let everything go and perform your heart out?<br /><br />BTW, “Pretty Black Dress” is my favorite song. This may just be one of those really stupid problems that you are tired of hearing about but remember you brought this on yourselves! (And I’m not totally convinced this is even the actual Liam and Me band reading these things.)<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Butterflies</i></span></p></blockquote> <p style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><b>Dear Butterflies:</b><br /><br />For the record, this is really us, baby. And we’re very happy you like Pretty Black Dress. That’s one of my enduring faves as well.<br /><br />Ahh, stage fright. Unless you’re some kind of invulnerable super-performer, it will affect you at some point in your career. There’s no silver bullet to stop it, but like anything else, practice makes perfect.</span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">In my experience, stage fright is the fear of sucking and being judged by a large group of people who happen to be staring at you. You’re nervous that you might suck, but the more nervous you get the harder you suck. It’s a vicious cycle.<br /><br />So here are my tips:<br /><br /><b>Don’t suck</b> – try to get really good at whatever you’re doing onstage. If you’re prepared, you’ll be more confident in your abilities and therefore less nervous.<br /><br /><b>Don’t give a fuck</b> – if you flub a line or your voice cracks, you may feel like dying inside. But the audience doesn’t care. Chances are they didn’t even notice! If something bad happens, just go with it. I’ve seen great performers screw up a million times. Who gives a fuck? Not giving a fuck is liberating and will improve your presence.<br /><br /><b>Perform as often as you can</b> – it’s impossible not to be nervous the first time. By the 5th or 6th show, you’ll feel a lot better. By the 100th time, you’ll be a bloody pro.<br /><br />After playing as many shows as we have, we don’t get so nervous at a normal gig. But we do get a little freaked doing things we’re not so experienced with, especially press – videotaped interviews, TV performances, radio spots, etc. Youtube is littered with clips of us looking awkward. As we get more experienced, we’ll get better and more confident. With practice, we’ll be able to handle press like super smooth Barack Obama.<br /><br />One other helpful hint. A double shot of whiskey before taking the stage tends to loosen me up. Not that we advocate that per se.</span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Kisses,<br />Jackie Treehorn</span></p>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-474173728919477368.post-37117816451839143662008-01-13T16:10:00.000-08:002008-10-01T16:42:06.015-07:00Our first column! Friends with benefits...<blockquote style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><i><b>Dear Liam - </b><br /><br />I have a massive crush on one of my guy friends. He’s always asking me for advice on girls that are just gross and all wrong for him. Ahh, it tears me up! Why can’t he see that the perfect girl is right under his nose?<br /><br />So what do you think Liam and Me, should I say something?<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Forever in the Friend Zone<br /><br /></i></span></blockquote><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><b>Dear Forever:</b><br /><br />My short answer would be “Go for it, sugar!” You’re young and you only live once. There are some risks, however, when you try to convert platonic friendship into sexy time explosion. As a male who’s been on both sides of this situation, here’s how things will likely play out:</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><b>Option 1</b> – He might also be secretly in love with you, but afraid of the consequences. Maybe he keeps asking your advice on terrible girls to show you that he is desired by women, hoping that one day you’ll answer his timid plea and make the first move. “You want my advice?” you say in his mind, “Take me now you virile beast!” If this is the case then you’re the big winner. A whole new set of problems awaits you as this dude’s girlfriend or friend with benefits.</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><br /></span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><b>Option 2</b> – He might not be attracted to you and shoot you down. Maybe he keeps asking your advice to brag and validate his pimp status. Boys are pretty superficial, and no matter what anyone says, physical attraction is priority number one. This rejection may make things uncomfortable, and change the nature of your friendship. If you’re both secure individuals, no big deal! But people tend to feel awkward, and that’s why things “get weird”.<br /><br />So here are the questions to consider: Do you think your friend is attracted to you? Does he flirt, make innuendos, etc? If things go badly, are you willing to risk changing your friendship? Think it over, it’s ultimately up to you. (I vote for risk taking.)<br /><br /><b>One other helpful hint</b> – in an informal poll of my friends with significant others, alcohol served as a catalyst in 90% of cases. Not that we advocate that per se, but, uh, yeah.<br /><br />Let us know how it works out!<br /><br />Cheers,<br />Liam<br /></span>Liam and Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07925843542164917598noreply@blogger.com0