Divorcée who made my day

Dear Liam,

I recently got divorced after being married for almost nine years. I've been dating up a storm in the past few months, and having a great time. However the average age of the guys I'm going out with is about 27, and I will be 39 in a month (I'm Asian, you know my peoples don't age). I never lie about my age, and no one seems to have a problem with it as I'm not looking for anything serious just yet. Eventually I'll want to see someone for more than a few weeks, maybe even (ack) have a boyfriend of some kind again.

My question is this, why am I not attracted to anyone my age? Or even close? I have tried to go out with a few men in their mid 30s but they bore the hell out of me. The young men like me now, but will they want to date me when I'm not such a fun carnival ride? Am I doomed to the Cougar den with my fading looks and long lost charm, making desperate passes at immigrant busboys and baristas on Friday nights?

Sincerely,
Immature or Young at Heart?


Dear Immature or Young at Heart –

The dissolution of a relationship that lengthy and serious delivers a massive shock to your world. That kind of breakup is a once in a lifetime experience, and its no surprise you’re feeling the need to reboot and go ape shit. I say take advantage of your ageless Asian hotness and get as much late 20s tail as you can manage, for now. I’m assuming you don’t have any children yet. It would be very irresponsible to be getting busy with a different Ashton or Dylan every night as your four-year-old’s mind is destroyed by Mommy’s orgasm yelps.

But yes, this too will get old. 27 year olds are increasingly marriage minded, but they won’t seriously consider a woman 10 years older. And you are right, it can’t last forever. You won’t get as many young takers as you hit 45, 50, 60…

It sounds like your heart and mind are in the right place, Baby Cougar. This is your wild European backpacking f**kfest before you come home and take over the family business. The revolving door of young studs will lose its luster, and suddenly a more grounded mid-30s gentleman will seem more appealing.

But before that happens, give us a call will ya luv?

We wish you the best in 2009.

Yours,
Liam

40, Asian, still fine as hell.

Which lame guy should I pick?

Dear Liam -

I’m dealing with some last semester before college boy tensions, and I want to know which platonic friend I should upgrade to

The first friend (We'll call him Joe) has a girlfriend but they've been on the verge of a break up for half the year. I've always kind of liked him and I think there's a chance that he at least kind of likes me. We're probably going to the same college next fall so that's a huge plus and like I said, I've pretty much always had a thing for him...

But then there's my other friend (He'll be Bob) who just recently told my best friend that he might like me. We've been pretty tight lately but I had no idea that he was interested. I've never liked him like that, but I don't want to miss out on something that has the potential to be great. Also I kind of think he just really wants a girlfriend and I'm the only one in our group of friends who isn't dating anyone.

Should I hold out for 'Joe' even though he's technically taken right now and I'm not even sure he's interested, or risk my friendship with 'Bob'? I live in a small town so if things go South with either of my friends its gonna be one hell of a long semester....

Thanks
“Friends” ‘til the End


Dear Friends ‘til the End:

How about C, none of the above? Both Joe and Bob sound like horrible options. Joe has a girlfriend who he refuses to break up with and likely has no interest in dating you. Bob has never impressed you, and is a guy who just wants to get his rocks off before he goes off to college.

Why not enjoy the time you have left with your friends without forcing yourself into a ridiculous relationship with one of them? You have 6 months until graduation. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet someone totally new and totally better, and have a magical summer fling before the frat guys get their turn.

Excelsior!

Liam

Friends forever!