Don't Date Band Dudes!

Dear Liam -

I seriously always seem to fall in love with musicians who don't have the time for a girlfriend. Or so they tell me. Maybe I'm naive enough to believe it, or maybe they're really busy all the time, but I can never seem to get one that's actually interested enough to make it work. Even if I meet them at a library or a bookstore, they turn out to be a "super busy drummer/guitarist/lead singer" and it drives me batty. Is there any way to either repel musicians or to make it work? I mean, has it worked in your experience? I'm pretty damn attractive, and pretty smart, so I don't get it.

-Bummed out in California


Dear Bummed:

This one is a classic, and the answer is always the same. Band boys are pretty despicable with women. They join bands because they love music almost as much as they love getting attention, and they validate their insecurities by stringing along as many girls as possible. Unless Dude is a serious touring musician, chances are he's not too busy for a relationship. He's having a good time being a man slut, and happy with the status quo. I understand why girls are into band dudes, but those same qualities make them shitty boyfriends. There are exceptions to every rule (ahem), but this is usually the case.

Your best bet is to turn the tables and blow him off. Dress cute and flirt casually, and when Dude asks you to come back to his place, tell him he seems nice but isn't really your type. This will blow his mind, and his ego will compel him to try and bone you. I'm getting turned on just thinking about being rejected. Straight-up Mystery Method!

Attractive and smart, you say? Watcha doing this weekend?

Suerte,
Liam

"Sorry girl, I've been real busy."