Dear Liam -Dear Forever:
I have a massive crush on one of my guy friends. He’s always asking me for advice on girls that are just gross and all wrong for him. Ahh, it tears me up! Why can’t he see that the perfect girl is right under his nose?
So what do you think Liam and Me, should I say something?
Sincerely,
Forever in the Friend Zone
My short answer would be “Go for it, sugar!” You’re young and you only live once. There are some risks, however, when you try to convert platonic friendship into sexy time explosion. As a male who’s been on both sides of this situation, here’s how things will likely play out:
Option 1 – He might also be secretly in love with you, but afraid of the consequences. Maybe he keeps asking your advice on terrible girls to show you that he is desired by women, hoping that one day you’ll answer his timid plea and make the first move. “You want my advice?” you say in his mind, “Take me now you virile beast!” If this is the case then you’re the big winner. A whole new set of problems awaits you as this dude’s girlfriend or friend with benefits.
Option 2 – He might not be attracted to you and shoot you down. Maybe he keeps asking your advice to brag and validate his pimp status. Boys are pretty superficial, and no matter what anyone says, physical attraction is priority number one. This rejection may make things uncomfortable, and change the nature of your friendship. If you’re both secure individuals, no big deal! But people tend to feel awkward, and that’s why things “get weird”.
So here are the questions to consider: Do you think your friend is attracted to you? Does he flirt, make innuendos, etc? If things go badly, are you willing to risk changing your friendship? Think it over, it’s ultimately up to you. (I vote for risk taking.)
One other helpful hint – in an informal poll of my friends with significant others, alcohol served as a catalyst in 90% of cases. Not that we advocate that per se, but, uh, yeah.
Let us know how it works out!
Cheers,
Liam
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