Misguided Marriage Craze

Dear Liam,

My 20 year old sister just got engaged this month to a boy she's been dating less than six months. I've been dating my boyfriend for about the same amount of time. My boyfriend is now getting cagey thinking I want to already be engaged as well. Also, my family is now getting on my back about how my sister is engaged and I'm not. How do I get everyone to chill the fuck out?

Not Engaged in New Hampshire


Dear Not Engaged –

Weddings make people insane. Everyone gets so hung up on the excitement and planning that they forget that it’s really just one stupid party, and then you have to deal with being married to that person the rest of your life.

It’s totally irresponsible for two 20 year olds to get engaged after dating only 6 months. You can’t possibly get to know someone well enough to marry them in that amount of time, and 20 year olds hardly know themselves well enough to understand who they’ll be compatible with for decades of matrimony.

You’re in the right here. You seem like a smart and reasonable person, and your family needs to chill the fuck out. First, explain your feelings to your boyfriend. Assure him that while you’re happy with your relationship, there is no fucking way you’re ready to get married anytime soon. Second, tell your family that while you’re happy for your impulsive little sis, you’ll make your life decisions on your own schedule and their weird pressure makes you feel uncomfortable. This most likely will not stop them, but at least you’ve put it out there.

As a last resort, make them watch those moronic wedding planning reality shows. If they can see past the cake design and into the warped priorities of maniacal brides-to-be, maybe they’ll get the message.

Felicitaciones!
Liam and Me